How to Write Wedding Vows That Truly Sound Like You | Vancity Officiant Wedding Guide
- Vancity Officiant
- Aug 10
- 4 min read
Writing your own wedding vows can feel exciting and intimidating at the same time. You want to express everything in your heart, but you also want it to sound natural when you speak it out loud. Your vows are not a formal script you have to perfect. They are personal promises that capture your story, your connection in the present moment, and the life you want to build together. Here is a clear and simple way to create vows that feel true to who you are.
WHY YOUR VOWS SHOULD BE WRITTEN BY YOU
It is always welcome to discuss your ideas, the flow, and the overall feeling of your vows with your officiant, so they can help you plan the moment. But in our view, the words themselves should be yours. A vow is not about crafting perfect phrases or writing an essay. It is about speaking genuine feelings, the kind that come from your own heart and experiences. No matter how skilled a writer might be, they cannot express your love better than you can. That is why we choose not to offer vow writing as part of our service. Many officiants do, but we believe the most powerful vows are the ones you write yourself.
HOW TO START WRITING YOUR VOWS
1. Begin with your reason for writing vows
Ask yourself why you want to write personal vows. Is it to share your love story with your guests, to tell your partner things you have never said before, or to record promises you will look back on for years? When you know your reason, every sentence will feel more focused and sincere.
2. Collect your shared moments
Think about when you first realised this person was the one for you, a challenge you faced together, or the everyday rituals that are unique to your relationship. These details will become the foundation of your vows and help them sound personal instead of generic.
3. Keep your focus on the two of you
Your wedding vows are not the same as a reception speech. This is not the time to thank your parents or guests. That belongs at the banquet or celebration later. In the ceremony, keep your words centred on your promises and feelings towards your partner.
4. Find a natural flow
A vow that sounds effortless usually has three parts. First, recall a memory or describe a feeling from your shared past. Next, talk about what you feel today. Finally, make promises for the future. This simple rhythm helps your vows feel balanced and easy to follow.
5. Mix the personal with the timeless
Private jokes are wonderful, but remember that others will hear your vows too. Balance your personal memories with promises that have universal meaning, such as “I promise to protect the life we have built together” or “I will stand by you in every season of change”.
6. End with intention
Close with a sentence that feels like a seal on your promise. It can be short and powerful, such as “This is my vow to you for all my days” or “From this day on, we walk forward together”.
If you would like to see examples of how different couples have expressed their promises, visit our Wedding Vow Samples page for inspiration.
PRIVATE VOWS OR NOT?
Not every couple chooses to read their personal vows out loud during the ceremony. Some prefer to keep them private and exchange them in a quiet moment, away from the eyes and ears of guests. Others read part of their vows in public and save the most personal lines for later.
There is no right or wrong approach. If you feel nervous about speaking very intimate words in front of everyone, consider a private vow exchange before or after the ceremony. What matters most is that the promises are spoken with intention and heard by the person they are meant for.
WHAT NOT TO WRITE IN YOUR WEDDING VOWS
Your wedding vows are not the same as a reception speech. They are not the place for long thank-you lists, detailed family acknowledgements, or inside jokes that no one else will understand. Leave expressions of gratitude for your parents, guests, or wedding party for the reception, where they can be appreciated in full.
In the ceremony, your vows should stay focused on the promises you want to make and the feelings you want to express to your partner. Keeping the words personal, direct, and centred on the two of you will make them more powerful and memorable.
FINAL THOUGHTS
There is no perfect length, style, or format for vows. What matters most is that they come from a place of truth. If your words are real, they will reach exactly where they need to go, it's your partner’s heart.
Ready to bring your vows to life? Whether you choose to keep them private until the ceremony or share them with us for gentle feedback, we can help you make sure your words feel just right for the moment you speak them. Reach out to start creating a ceremony that feels entirely yours.
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